After the disappointment, after the nights bent over
pillowcase gritted between teeth, jarred
out of illusions as I clenched—

on the silky sheets of our king size bed—
every muscle fiber

cries from the other end of the hall
new voices—gargling—wailing—
reward and burden of this harsh entry

I was tied to you, your body
six-pack morphed into beer gut, pounding
from behind—both our eyes squeezed shut
against the darkness

I know we won’t succeed at this, but there’s
an intensity to this rhythmic beat,
the pulse and throb, as if by

depositing enough seed in me
I’d grow into something familiar.

We were like caterpillars
wooly bodies prickle
over blades of green grass, gone brown

you never learn to weave your cocoon
when my wings dry, I’ll fly away